Yvette's
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| yes mademoiselle, Simone dropped by to see me about 2 or so weeks ago...........she was with one of the "old crowd"..........they invited me to partake in their nocturnal festivities, but I politely declined.........I don't take outings in public anymore........haven't for years.........that's probably why I have gotten to the point that I can't live without a woman in my life.........my sobriety is the reason I want to get married........my brain has had several years to focus on what is important to me in my life and, so, my natural mating instincts are affecting my psyche, I guess........well, maybe I just don't like living alone..........maybe I want companionship....... my last romantic encounter was back in autumn of two thousand and two..........a somber and sad woman named Betty Jean in Ontario, Canada......but I may have told you already......... before that, as Simone will tell you, I was very sad myself.......I never felt the need to have a woman in my life........to be a part of a woman's life and let her be a part of mine......... I'm not really sure why that is so important to me now....... I hear a lot about how rare it is to find true love, but I see true love everywhere I look.........one thing's for sure, if I was married my wife would be the happiest woman in the world...........I would lavish her with tender affection and love everyday and every night...........I would nurture her and hold her and tell her she's the most beautiful woman in the world ......I would gently caress her and pamper her and dote over her and kiss her and I would be understanding and giving and caring and sweet and kind and attentive....... If I had a wife, she would be well cared for and she would know for sure that she is loved ~* that's probably why I'm so fascinated by you, Antoinette........ you have been married twice, but now you are single......you are living back in your old room at your mother's house and haven't decided the direction of your life..................... well, I'm glad to have the opportunity to talk to you..... I can pretend like you are my Wife and I can pay attention to you and say sweet words to you and let you know how important you are to me........ you are important to me, Antoinette .............there is no other woman on earth in which I can confide.........and though I deal with female clientele on a daily basis, well, it's just not the same as having a woman to talk to.......... I'm still infatuated with you, I think........ I can still see how incredibly beautiful I remember you are and it gives me butterflies in my stomach every time I get an email response from you......... you flatter me by talking to me, Antoinette........ I appreciate you very much..... and I suppose I need you a little bit.......... or maybe alot, I don't know......... email is different than seeing/talking to someone in person, but, still, it is really you who is talking to me, so, that is very meaningful to me......... you are truly a good and beautiful woman to have compassion for me, Antoinette...... it is so sweet that you show me consideration and tenderness........ I like it when you confide in me.......when you tell me about your life...........when you share your life with me...... I'm not at the Fashion Boutique` today............ some of mommy's relations are in town for the weekend and the hens wanted to cackle I guess.....they told me that if I would like to take a day off they would help mommy with the Bridal Salon today, and I had gotten all 3 of my Brides' Designer Bridal Gowns steamed to perfection for their weddings today and tomorrow, so, I said , what the heck......... I just slept late today and have been lying around the house in my pajamas all day........there's a Dick Tracey marathon on TCM.........I love those old movies.........Bette Davis, Lauren Bacall, Humphrey Bogart...........film noir is so captivating........it is comforting in some strange way..........makes me feel secure......... you give me security too, Antoinette......... by talking to me like this you make me feel secure........ knowing that I can email you any time I want and you will reply to me, well, it makes me feel safe......like the world is really ok after all....... if I'm not married and I don't have a woman, a beautiful woman like you, Antoinette, to confide in......a beautiful woman who will be my friend and confidant and share life experiences with me, well, it makes me feel like there might be something wrong with me........something wrong with the world or with me........it is scary..........it makes me fear.......you make all the fear go away by talking to me, Antoinette........... I honestly thank you for showing me kindness and talking to me Antoinette........ you are the most wonderful and terrific and fantastic woman in all of Creation and I really mean it......... I remember your hair.........you have such soft and gorgeous hair............that hot, humid summer's night when I first laid eyes upon you.......in the hallway of the apartment.......you had your back turned .......the first time I ever saw you I saw you from behind........and your legs in those silky, satiny shorts you had on.......good gracious.......you really knocked me off my feet that night, Antoinette........I'm still reeling from the first time I ever saw you........after all these years and you are still the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes upon.......I'd give my life just to be able to kiss you one time........one time to get to press my lips against yours........to feel your warmth and your softness......to inhale your scent ......to feel you relax in my embrace...to feel you accept me......I would die to experience you one time, Antoinette.........I would die a thousand deaths to get to kiss you one time...........you are the most romantic and exciting woman I have ever encountered.......you've captured my imagination and my heart............I would willingly sacrifice my life for just one kiss from you, Antoinette............and I would die a happy man ~* you are the only woman who I can really call my friend.... there are no other women who mean anything to me..... there are a couple who probably would actually interact with me, but they are so harsh..........they are so vicious and cruel...... they are not soft and sweet like you, Antoinette........ you are kind and gentle and affectionate....... you actually engage in meaningful conversation with me..... you put your 2 cents in, as they say......... like what you said that time about something I wrote......your comments about the old posters, the pin~up girl on the rocket or on the space pod...... you are sincere, Antoinette, and your sincerity saves my life, literally ~* those rude, snobbish, obstinate females don't count, Antoinette....... so that makes you the ONLY woman I have anything to do with at all......... you are my only woman friend....... I can tell myself that everything is alright because Antoinette is my companion in life........my female companion........my own beautiful woman in whom I can confide and trust...... I can depend on you , Antionette........ thank you for being so gracious and precious and sweet and good....... after saying all this to you, it feels more like if I were honest with myself I would admit to myself that I do need you Antoinette.......... that is amazing to me............Antoinette, you are important to me...........you have great significance in my life..........I actually need you in order to feel safe and secure and happy..........you make everything ok and alright Antoinette.......... you make me feel stable and sane........... you are a foundation for my emotional and intellectual balance....... that's exciting, Antoinette....... you have great worth and you are very valuable and exciting........ you are so amazing............ please, Antoinette.........please tell me something else about you........it is Saturday and it would be so wonderful to hear from you.........it would really make my Saturday night to hear from you Antoinette ......please talk to me ~* I will do anything to make you happy, Antoinette....... I want you to be happy because you make me so very happy........ please tell me something else about you and your life Antoinette....... please.........I promise to be a good boy ~* |
Yvette's ~*
| an Orchid among the Cupids |